Why?! Why must the Jews push their views on the rest of us each winter? Do they think just because they have all the power that the rest of us must celebrate their holiday? It's bad enough I can't walk down the street at night without seeing a diorama of Judah Maccabee standing triumphant over the Seleucids, or the town's annual lighting of that gaudy giant menorah, but now I can't even get on the Internet without having it SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT!

Maybe I'll just post about my Christmas tree, so all my friends can annoy me with "Oh! So you celebrate CHRISTMAS?! What's it like? Do you get presents? Is there a Christmas menorah? Can we come over to share your wonderful ethnic delicacies of egg nog and goose? Can I join your family for the annual fight? I think it's neat because it's so much more AUTHENTIC and SPIRITUAL!"

Do I LOOK like a walking repository of Christmas knowledge here for your convenience? PICK UP A FUCKING BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF AS TO MY CULTURE, SINCE I LIVE AMONG YOU EVERY DAY!

--Zebra, who secretly wishes everyone a Happy Hanukkah and Chappy Cholidays :D